At TOES, we have a school-wide Bullying Prevention Program that is coordinated by Mrs. Lomayesva, our school counselor. This program has been at Twin Oaks since 2003. Every year in September, Mrs. Lomayesva gives Bullying Prevention presentations to grades 1 through 5. In October, all students participate in classroom meetings with Mrs. Lomayesva where communication skills are presented and practiced. The following are guidelines to help parents if their child is getting bullied, if their child sees bullying, or if their child is a bully.

Students bullying other students is peer abuse. The victims need help to stop the bullying or they may develop.

Bullying is a Mean action done on purpose such as pushing, cruel jokes, name calling, rumors, leaving people out on purpose, or threats that are either very harmful (physically or emotionally) or done Over and over again by a person or persons that have Power over the person that is being bullied. The power is usually from things such as strength, size, age, group, or popularity.

(MOP is an acronym that students in 3rd grade and above have been taught to remember what bullying is.) Another way to remember this RIP: Bullying is Reapeated, Intentional, and a Power imbalance exists between the bully and the victim.

Remind your child that witnessing bullying and not saying anything is giving the bully approval for their actions. Encourage your child to speak up against bullying if they feel safe doing so or walk away and report the bullying to an adult at school. Another effective method is to talk to the person being bullied and ask the person to come play and move away from the bully.

If you see a child bullied at school or your child tells you about another child being bullied at school, notify a member of the school staff.

If your child is the victim of a bully, do the following:

• Do not contact the bully or the bully's parents
• Do call your child's teacher or the school administration
• Help your child by teaching her/him STAMP: (Look the bully in the eye and tell them to stop and walk away or report the bullying to an adult at school. If the bullying doesn't stop, contact your child's teacher or the school principal.)

If your child is a bully at school, do the following:

• Do tell your child's teacher
• Firmly tell your child bullying is not allowed at school
• Identify your child's feelings when inappropriate behavior occurs (e.g., "You said something cruel; I wonder if you are jealous of Ted's toy?")
• Set a limit (e.g., "It's not okay to say something cruel when you feel jealous.")
• Teach alternative behaviors, "It's okay to say you feel jealous and ask if you can play with something too."

The following are possible warning signs of being bullied (one or more can apply):

• Comes home from school with torn or dirty clothing, damaged books 
• Has cuts, bruises, scratches
• Has few, if any, friends
• Makes excuses to not go to school, complains of headaches, stomach pains
• Doesn't sleep well, has bad dreams
• Loses interest in school work and/or grades drop significantly
• Seems sad, depressed, or moody
• Is anxious, has poor self-esteem
• Is quiet, sensitive, passive, cries easily

The following are some possible warning signs of bullying others (one or more can apply):

• Teases, threatens, kicks other children
• Is hot-tempered, impulsive, has a hard time following rules
• Is aggressive toward adults
• Shows no sympathy toward children who are bullied
• Has been involved in other antisocial activities such as vandalism or stealing

More information is at Stop Bullying or call TOES School Counselor, Sharon Lomayesva at (760) 290 – 2588 x3580